Top all-time · #8205
Paging Dr. NerdLove
Personal blog · doctornerdlove.comculturephilosophy
Paging Dr. NerdLove is a personal blog at doctornerdlove.com about culture and philosophy. Since 2011, 10 different Hacker News readers have linked it 10 times. It is still writing: the last post was on 2026-11-02, and you can follow it by feed.
Too few sampled comments (4) to say how often HN recommends it.?
Why HN links it
HN readers link Paging Dr. NerdLove for its writing on dating, consent and social dynamics, including posts on creepiness, labeling men and the idea that attractiveness determines outcomes.
Summarised by Claude from a sample of 4 HN comments that link here. Each comment is marked recommending, critical or neutral (citing without judging); how this works.
Most-linked posts?
- /2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/2 people · 2 mentions · first linked 2013-06-21
What Hacker News says?
...yes, it is. Of course it's not as simple as saying "yes" or "no" in real life, but the point is that if a person is communicating something less than an obvious yes - for example, if a person is unusually quiet, has closed-off body language, isn't reciprocating, is hesitant, or seems uncomfortable - then the other person needs to stop and check in to find out what's going on. The uncomfortable person doesn't need…
Comment linking /2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/
on “Because it needs to be said”Submitted Nerds and Male Privilege as a story · 5 points
HN discussionExcerpts from a random hit on the subject of enthusiastic consent, in re: Stubenville: In the aftermath of the guilty verdict, several people observed that many of the teens at the party didn’t realize that this was rape. To them, the fact that the victim was unconscious didn’t mean anything. “I didn’t know this was rape,” said one witness. “It wasn’t violent.” ... In many ways, the focus on “no” puts the burden – y…
Comment linking /2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/
on “We were wrong”Submitted On Labeling Women "Crazy" as a story · 3 points
HN discussion> Creepy is about the danger of a hit in social status from being associated with someone with low status, whether that low status be because of poor social sklills, being ugly or anything else. It's about the possibility of contamination. For men, yes. Dr. NerdLove offers more information on the female experience ( http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/05/labeling-men-creepy/ ). To summarize: "78% of the victims of se…
Comment linking /2012/05/labeling-men-creepy/
on “Inventing a Dating App That Women Will Actually Use”Submitted Nerds and Male Privilege (2011) as a story · 2 points
HN discussionThis notion (step 1: be attractive, step 2: don't be unattractive) comes up a lot in male-dominated online spaces. It's a fallacy, and actually a self defeating one since it causes guys to ascribe their failures to something out of their control (looks) instead of what is actually in their control (behavior.) Here's a pretty good deconstruction of the concept IMO: https://www.doctornerdlove.com/understanding-the-hot…
Comment linking /understanding-the-hot-creepy-matrix/
on “Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility”Submitted Self-Acceptance vs. Self-Improvement (and Why You Need Both) (2016) as a story · 1 points
HN discussionSubmitted How Do I Rebuild My Life as a story · 1 points
HN discussionSubmitted Nerds and Male Privilege as a story · 1 points
HN discussion